In honor of Halloween this Thursday I wanted to talk about fears. They come in all shapes and sizes and even the way we react to them can be completely different. My fear of birds has me ducking and speed walking under overpasses and the train platforms. Yet my fear of confrontation has me avoiding tense conversations and sometimes standing up for myself at work. Fear is just a state of mind and when we finally find the strength to face those fears we can concur them.
Many times fear stems from the unknown, a lack of understanding. So when you’re fears come in strong take a step back and ask why, look into understanding what you’re afraid of and it will be way less scary in the end. Break it down into manageable pieces, from asking for that raise, prepare research and plan what you are going to say. Break the fear into digestible pieces and learn more about what it is you’re afraid of. When you base your feelings on facts and not emotionally driven reactions you can make better decisions.
Face It Head-on
A normal human reaction to fear is fight or flight. And oftentimes flight is how we deal with our fears. We avoid or we run away for things that make us uncomfortable. But if you want to banish that fear once and for all you have to stand and face it. Channel that emotion into strength and keep your eye on what your goals are.
Practice “As If”
I have a love-hate relationship with the phrase “fake it til you make it” I feel like when you’re honest with yourself there really shouldn’t be any faking. I think in everything from dealing with fear to wearing that outfit you are a little selfconscious about. I have said this a dozen times about dressing and wearing what you want, “everyone has a bikini body” you just have to put the bikini on your body. If you walk, talk and act like you aren’t afraid. Your fears will literally just wash away.
As I said fears usually come from what we think might come or an outcome of a situation, this is a lack of knowledge and a preconceived idea. So instead of thinking of the worst outcome visualize the best possible outcome. The law of attraction is the idea of a magnetic power that pulls you toward positive or negative outcomes or people and things depending on the energy you put out into the world. So by visualizing a successful presentation, you can manifest a killer presentation.
Ask for Help
You should never have to deal with your fears along. Talk to loved ones, get advice and ask for help when needed. Focus on the successes of others as motivation to say goodbye to your fears, and even follow the steps others have taken that have eliminated their same fears. You don’t have to do it alone and others have dealt with the same of similar fears, learn from the things they did right and wrong, you don’t have to figure it out yourself.
Let Go of the Outcome
Finally, flexibility is always important. Be willing to change and tweak your goals and don’t be so steadfast on a particular outcome. Be grateful for what does come and celebrate even the smallest successes. You don’t have to completely kick your fear in the first one, two, or even ten times you face it but baby steps and acknowledging growth and change is good.
Be proud of your achievements every day, celebrate your successes with others and even ask for help when needed. When you break your fears down and learn more confidence will follow and you will be able to say goodbye to those fears easily. What are you afraid of?