I promise this is the last mention of Valentine’s Day until next year. I know the last couple of weeks have been focused on gifts and outfits focused on spending time with a significant other. This “holiday” particularly can weigh on someone’s mental health and make you feel unloveable if you don’t have someone to celebrate with. But I’d like to reiterate that Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be about romance and love for a significant other, it can be about loving yourself or the amazing people that are part of your life. I absolutely love spending the holiday eating junk food with my best friends and having a little self-love day. That’s why this week I have partnered up with my girl Alison Schulthesz to talk about how stays positive and handles her mental health.
What are some things you do when you’re having a rough day?
I think the hardest thing I had to come to terms with is that it’s okay to talk to others. I spent a lot of my life perceiving the mental health struggles I had as a weakness. As I became an adult I realized that talking with others and just hearing your thoughts out loud versus dealing with them on alone truly helps. So when I have a bad day and I am really suffering I reach out to my loved ones, yes its still with a lot of resistance but I am working on that. I think it’s a healthy habit to get into.
How do you check in with your mental health and keep your anxiety in check?
As crazy as it sounds I really have become in tune with myself in understanding how my emotions and the way I feel physically indicate a fit of bad mental health. For example, I commonly have a heavy feeling in my chest and shortness of breath during an anxiety fit. I hate when people say “identify your triggers” because I truly believe that there isn’t always a trigger and it can just be a chemical reaction in your brain. That being said, I strongly believe we should be able to identify when we are having anxious feelings or even an anxiety attack. I think that identifying those plays a huge role in being able to calm ourselves down and push through it versus just ignore that it’s going on.
I know you have a loving boyfriend, but what advice can you give the single gals feeling a little lonely this holiday?
Yes, I do have a loving boyfriend and honestly, this isn’t some BIG Holiday for us. Truly the thing that makes me happy is staying in with my boyfriend and having dinner and drinking wine. Society puts a lot of pressure on people to have a romantic partner for valentines day and I think it often leaves singles feeling lonely, At the end of the day Valentines Day is just another day and in no way should you force yourself to be with someone who isn’t right for you just so you can avoid feeling lonely on one day of the year. The mental anguish that can occur from being with the wrong person can wreak more havoc on our mental health than feeling lonely.
On the other hand what are you doing to love yourself this holiday?
Just enjoy myself and being with my boyfriend. I don’t want to worry about what I am eating or what I am drinking. I don’t want to count my macros on that day, I just want balance. I want to appreciate the love I have with my boyfriend and just have a good night with him.
What are some things you do daily to stay positive?
Lately, I have been taking on a screw it attitude. I have been trying to focus less on what others think, I am trying to reduce the number of times I UNNECESSARILY (keyword) put how others feel above me, and I am trying to think less of what can go wrong and jump into things more. I think the biggest thing with anxiety is we worry so much, we think of every single possible outcome, and we forget that we have the power to change our circumstances. I care an INSANE amount about what others think of me and until I let go of that I truly cannot live my best life. So right now chartering unknown territory and the excitement of finally doing what is best for me is what helps me stay positive.
Instagram can be a platform that is known as being the highlight reel of people’s lives, this can sometimes cause jealousy how do you deal with this temptation to compare yourself to others?
It took me a while to understand this, YOU have control over who YOU follow. Never at any point should you be following anybody who makes you feel horrible about yourself. I know it is so much easier to say that than to do it, but you need to try. Would I be lying if I said I wasn’t following any girl whose figure I envy? Yes, I would be. However, here is the deal at the end of the day I am following them for the message that goes along with the picture. I follow many beautiful ladies who have great messages to spread. Their body isn’t the focus of my attention the message is.
Make sure to go over to Alison’s blog where she interviewed me about my experiences with mental health and body positivity!