Why It’s OK To Be Things We Were Taught Not To Be

Don’t be “confrontational” “children should wait to be spoken to” “don’t say that you’re being rude” as children we’re told and taught not to be a certain way. You always have to do what your parents say. If you’re going to be seen as a hard worker you need to put your head down and listen to management. If you’re a fashion blogger you talk about fashion and should “stay in your lane.” But I’m tired of that narrative I think being upfront with your feelings, speaking up for what you believe in, and being a multifaceted blogger is what makes each of us so interesting and unique as people.

I love talking about fashion, and petite style, but my blog has also become a place for me to talk about my struggles with mental health, codependency, and give advice to others who might also be struggling. I advocate for getting the COVID vaccine on my Instagram unapologetically because I believe in the science behind its effectiveness and the reality of how this is a solution for getting this pandemic under control. So often bloggers are told to “stick to what they’re good at” or “stay in their lane” for so long we’ve been told to not rock the boat and if you want to be successful you shouldn’t alienate any side of your potential following, it’s not good for business.

As a woman, you’re also taught that speaking up and advocating for yourself in the office is very bossy, or rude. If you stand up for your viewpoint you’re being confrontational, and that’s bad. But why is communicating your needs or setting strong boundaries viewed as being confrontational?

I think we have done so many generations a disservice by setting up that narrative that you need to be a certain way in order to fit in. I also think that the idea that we can’t or aren’t allowed to change is the wrong philosophy to have. As a teen, I remember getting angry when bands I loved “changed” but I didn’t understand that as people grow up and life milestones happen you change, it’s inevitable. As you get older your priorities change, you also learn things about yourself, or are able to find tools that facilitate your growth.

Getting into therapy when I found myself at a very low point in my life was a way I allowed myself to push back on my comfort zone, and explore more aspects of myself. I’ve learned to be more in tune with myself, and in turn, I pursue happiness over being complacent. I choose to be more than one-dimensional of myself.

I am Jessa
I am a creator
I am petite
I am a friend
I am a daughter
I am a sister
I am pescatarian
I am a mental health advocate
I am a fashion lover
I am codependent
I am a business woman
I am an SEO stratagist
I am generous
I am a music lover
I am intelligent
I am trusting
I am privileged
I am a beauty lover
I am a cycling fan
I am a city girl
I am a travel enthuisiest

I am all these things and I am so much more than even what I show the internet.

So I guess what I’m getting at is you’re allowed to be more than what society thinks you should be, and you’re allowed to grow and change, push back, and carve your own path based on what makes you happiest. You shouldn’t be defined by your trauma, your career, or most definitely not your social media profile.


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